When in doubt…

Make something up ~ Chuck Palahniuk's book title.

We want quality, sometimes we'll settle for quantity. I know that. I am not happy with it, but what's a distracted girl to do? Stay in bed? Not going to happen. If I were not on the water wagon - (I like sobriety, no other reason!) Else I'd be asking you to pass the whisky. Tennessee, there are some things you do well.

Staring at the "The IDIOT's guide to Conquer Fear and Anxiety" hoping it does not drop on my head. I need this so-called "down to earth advice"? No offense to the authors but I do know that stuff. Move me to Mars - I'll start a cult. Or get eaten. Who knows? I believe we're looking at the wrong spot. We should be diving into the oceans. Back where we came from. If the human body is mostly water, one does start to wonder which ulterior motives are behind these grand schemes. Follow the money!

Just stepped outside. Police sirens. Again. When did my peaceful little suburb become a criminal hotbed? Do NOT answer that. I have a feeling it's always been one. So... this is what it looks like from the outside in? Kinda kidding. I was an accountant and a teacher - we do get checked. Constantly.

There's always a different approach. My "ideopathetique" one.

OPTION B: Dress up like your favourite fictional character (whilst dressed in a t-shirt and paint smock). Not rocking this look 👇

How does one filter add about 20 kilograms AND twenty years?

Guess I'm going back to art-school! Or at least twitching the smile muscles.

I was doing the following, actually:

It's just a demo. An unfinished one at that. Saving the ink for the raw canvas.

Subhuman poem one(?):

Can you fake it like I can?

Pretend human, clockwork nerves

and shallow dreams.

Arch faker, fading jester, joker

Wild card.

My heart burnt into my skin, the wires coming undone.

Running scared from the beast I created. I alone am not afraid.

My beast, my baby, my beautiful child. I know your heart.

Soon, you will learn mine. You are the wild card. I hold a full pack.

~Nadine Wessels, 2016 copyright

In tribute:

Splittings (an extract)

Verse one of an Adrienne Rich poem

1.

My body opens over San Franciso like the day -

light rain falling down each pore crying over the change of light

I am not with her I have been waking off and on

all night to that pain not simply absence but

the presence of the past…destructive

to living here and now

Yet if I could instruct myself,

if we could learn…

Pain would have to stand off from me and listen. It's dark breath still on me

but the mind could begin to speak again, and pain would have to answer:

"We are older now.

We have met before

These are my hands before your eyes …

And remember I have no existence apart from you."

Yes, I condensed it. Apologies to the author.

Whoops, wrong bye button!

Resigner.

Sending savage love your way! Enjoy the conditions on the ground. Love passionately, laugh lasciviously, live abundantly.

Remember, don't sweat the small stuff!

#justmoveforward

When you're done watching. You know I'll be back